Ali Wong
Comedian
1982-04-19
Ali Wong is an American comedian, actress, and writer. She is known for stand-up comedy specials and film and television roles.
Books by Ali Wong
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Quotes by Ali Wong
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When you're a mom, you need sparkle to compensate for the light inside of you that has died.
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I tried being a stay-at-home mom for eight weeks. I like the stay-at-home part. Not too crazy about the mom aspect.
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I constantly peed in my pants up until the 8th grade and wore an extra-large sailor uniform from kindergarten to 8th grade because my mom was scared I'd grow out of it. So I learned to make fun of myself at school and summer camp.
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To be a trophy wife, you have to be a trophy. I am more of a commemorative plaque.
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My dad was a very unconventional Asian American man. He was very much not quiet, not shy, not passive. If he had to fart, he'd do it in the library. He did not care. He was like, 'I don't know these people. I'm uncomfortable, and I need to let it go.'
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Having a two-year-old is very hard. I feel like I'm in a relationship with an emotionally unstable woman who is also physically abusive and never gets in trouble for it.
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The most valuable thing my dad taught me was to never care about what other people thought. When he came to my shows, and I'd announce his presence, he'd stand up with his hands clasped in victory and cheer my name.
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Some useful advice for all of my Asian-American brothers and sisters - never go paint-balling with a Vietnam veteran.
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You can't just be crass without being witty. Angry crass is horrible.
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I think feminism is the worst thing that ever happened to women. Our job used to be no job. We had it so good!
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