Andrew J. Bernstein
Quotes by Andrew J. Bernstein
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Stress is not the spice of life any more than arsenic is. And without it, you won't feel bored.
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People often say that stress is a motivator. What we're referring to when we say this is really better described as stimulation and engagement.
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We need to distinguish between stress and stimulation. Having deadlines, setting goals, and pushing yourself to perform at capacity are stimulating. Stress is when you're anxious, upset, or frustrated, which dramatically reduce your ability to perform.
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Worrisome thoughts and their resulting feelings are a form of self strangulation. They not only strangle your emotions. They affect your physical life as well, and your ability to focus and get things done.
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If you're successful and stressed out, you're succeeding in spite of your stress, not because of it.
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Stress is never a given. There are people who get divorced amicably. There are people who pack up and move with no emotional toll. There is no stressor 'out there' in the world. We experience stress - or we don't - depending on what we believe.
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The truth is that stress doesn't come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about these circumstances.
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What's taking place during stress is actually much simpler than a transaction between stressful life events and you. There aren't two parties involved in stress. There is only one - your own mind.
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The less you think counterfactually, the less you experience stress. Stress, in this light, isn't a bad thing. It's simply a warning system telling you that your mind has lost touch with what's real.
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Stress is the negative whirlwind of emotions that gets imposed on top of our stimulation and engagement.
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