Eoin Colfer

Author

1965-05-14

Quotes by Eoin Colfer

• Who or what inspires you?I must admit that I often read my own articles in scientific journals and inspire myself.

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• The craft's occupants clutched their armrests, and more than one of them closed their eyes. But not Artemis. He couldn't. There was something morbidly fascinating about flying into an uncharted tunnel at a reckless speed with only a kleptomaniac dwarf's word for what lay at the other end.

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• Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.

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• Ambition had a price, and that price was friendship.

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• Friendship isn't a science mudboy. Just do what you think is right.

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• Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.

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• The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese.

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• The thing about a diversion is that it has to be diverting.

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• Orion nodded, then asked, "Dwarf cheese?""Cheese made by dwarfs.""Oh," said Orion, relieved. "They make it. It's not actually . . .""No. What a horrible thought."—Exactly.

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• Time to do what he did best - plot dastardly acts.

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• No one's ever really ready for a troll.

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• Naturally, we lunatics are the kindest of the bunch.

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• Tonight, history was going to be made. And it wasn't the discovery-of-radium, first-man-on-the-moon happy kind of history. It was the Spanish-Inquisition, here-comes-the-Hindenburg bad kind of history.

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• ... even one centimetre can make an awful lot of difference when you don't have many to spare.

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• Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander.

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• So, Mr. Digence, home to visit the family?That's right. My mother's folks are from Killarney.Oh, really?O'Reilly, actually. But what's a vowel between friends?Very good. You should be on the stage.It's funny you should mention that.The passport officer groaned. Ten more minutes and his shift would have been over. I was being sarcastic, actually

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• Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.

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• I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?

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• how does she know it's the right room?' wondered Descant.Oh, I don't know; mabye it's the magical red glow coming from the doorway, or perhaps it's the deafening howl of the temporal winds.' said Mervall. Descant nodded.'You could be right, brother. And don't think I don't know sarcasm when I hear it.

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• They have gone. And the tunnel is about to close. So, boys, I am looking for someone to blame.

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