Jimmy Fallon

Comedian

1974-09-19

American comedian, television host, and writer best known for hosting The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. He first gained major recognition as a cast member on Saturday Night Live.

Quotes by Jimmy Fallon

I'd be nothing without my wife. She's the coolest. She's the greatest. She is the smartest. She's the funniest. I love her so much. She's like the - it's like your best friend for the rest of your life.
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On 'Late Night,' it's like we're all in on the joke. That's what I wanted it to be. I'm not doing something sneaky. Inside jokes, I don't like those. We can all ride together, and everyone's on the same thing going, 'Aha, I know where you're going here.'
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We picked the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something that loses for 86 years, you're a pretty good fan. You don't have to win everything to be a fan of something.
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Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.
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Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia.
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My wife and I had been trying a while to have a baby. We tried a bunch of things - so we had a surrogate.
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Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience - is to amplify what we think America is thinking.
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Thank you, hard taco shells, for surviving the long journey from factory, to supermarket, to my plate and then breaking the moment I put something inside you. Thank you.
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Thank you... fantasy football draft, for letting me know that even in my fantasies, I am bad at sports.
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Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.
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The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.
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L.A., it's nice, but I think of sunshine and people on rollerblades eating sushi. New York, I think of nighttime, I think of Times Square and Broadway and nightlife and the city that never sleeps.
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Sandler's always good. Tom Hanks gave me some good advice.
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When I was a kid, you would tune in to 'The Tonight Show' before you went to sleep. Johnny Carson. A big treat. I know it's a privilege of mine to be able to be in people's homes. So I hope I make everyone proud, including my parents, and do a good job in this.
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I wanted to be the next Dana Carvey. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake and made a wish, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I threw a coin into a fountain, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I saw a shooting star, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.'
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I don't shoot guns. I don't know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.
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Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn't get the user high, prompting patients who need medical marijuana to declare, 'Thank you?'
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I'd do entire music videos in my bedroom, where I used to stand in front of my television memorizing the moves to Michael Jackson's 'Beat It.'
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Thank you... motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I'm waving hello to a wall robot.
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Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? Plutonium hat model.
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