Johnny Carson
Comedian
1925-10-23
Quotes by Johnny Carson
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In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.
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In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.
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Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'
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I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
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I was going to hang it up on the twenty-fifth year of this show. I don't know why. Maybe twenty-five years is enough. And I found out that I was having so much fun doing the show that we decided to stick around for a while.
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Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
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The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
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For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
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I'll be right back.
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There are very few Japanese Jews. As a result, there is no Japanese word for Alan King.
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Never marry a girl named 'Marie' who used to be known as 'Murray'.
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In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children.
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When turkeys mate they think of swans.
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We'll be right back.
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If it wasn't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
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