Maria Semple

Novelist

1964-05-21

Quotes by Maria Semple

• My heart started racing, not the bad kind of heart racing, like I'm going to die. But the good kind of heart racing, like, Hello, can I help you with something? If not, please step aside because I'm about to kick the shit out of life.

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• When "Here Comes the Sun" started, what happened? No, the sun didn't come out, but Mom opened up like the sun breaking through the clouds. You know how in the first few notes of that song, there's something about George's guitar that's just so hopeful? It was like when Mom sang, she was full of hope, too. She even got the irregular clapping right during the guitar solo. When the song was over, she paused it."Oh, Bee," she said. "This song reminds me of you." She had tears in her eyes.

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• Earlier this year, I'd told a mother at school I'd been married fifteen year. She asked, What's the secret to a long marriage? I thought for a second, then answered, Staying married.

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• Fast, Cheap, Good: Pick Two.

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• As far as I'm concerned, the only thing sweeter than seeing a friend is that friend canceling on me.

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• Maybe that's what religion is, hurling yourself off a cliff and trusting that something bigger will take care of you and carry you to the right place.

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• That was happiness. Not the framed greatest hits, but the moments in between. At the time, I hadn't pegged them as being particularly happy. But now, looking back at those phantom snapshots, I'm struck by my calm, my ease, the evident comfort with my life. I'm happy in retrospect.

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• Was it happiness I'd found in my long marriage? Or capitulation? Or is that all happiness is, capitulation?

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• Maybe that's what religion is, hurling yourself off a cliff and trusting that something bigger will take care of you and carry you to the right place.

  Read quote

• As far as I'm concerned, the only thing sweeter than seeing a friend is that friend canceling on me.

  Read quote

• Earlier this year, I'd told a mother at school I'd been married fifteen year. She asked, What's the secret to a long marriage? I thought for a second, then answered, Staying married.

  Read quote

• When "Here Comes the Sun" started, what happened? No, the sun didn't come out, but Mom opened up like the sun breaking through the clouds. You know how in the first few notes of that song, there's something about George's guitar that's just so hopeful? It was like when Mom sang, she was full of hope, too. She even got the irregular clapping right during the guitar solo. When the song was over, she paused it."Oh, Bee," she said. "This song reminds me of you." She had tears in her eyes.

  Read quote

• That was happiness. Not the framed greatest hits, but the moments in between. At the time, I hadn't pegged them as being particularly happy. But now, looking back at those phantom snapshots, I'm struck by my calm, my ease, the evident comfort with my life. I'm happy in retrospect.

  Read quote

• Was it happiness I'd found in my long marriage? Or capitulation? Or is that all happiness is, capitulation?

  Read quote

• Fast, Cheap, Good: Pick Two.

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• My heart started racing, not the bad kind of heart racing, like I'm going to die. But the good kind of heart racing, like, Hello, can I help you with something? If not, please step aside because I'm about to kick the shit out of life.

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• My talent isn't so much in traditional research as in finding really smart people and badgering them with questions.

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• I just feel like there's this illicit thrill in reading other people's mail and spying on their lives.

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• I keep an elaborate calendar for my characters detailing on which dates everything happens. I'm constantly revising this as I go along. It gives me the freedom to intricately plot my story, knowing it will at least hold up on a timeline.

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• I survived many a youth hostel bunk room reading Tolstoy by flashlight.

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