Milton Berle

Comedian

1908-07-12

Quotes by Milton Berle

• If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

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• Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient

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• Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient

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• If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

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• Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

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• I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.

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• My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

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• Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.

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• People say I owe a lot to television. The fact is I was a star long before television. What TV made me is unemployed.

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• There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer.

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• We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

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• A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

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• At 82, I feel like a 20-year-old but, unfortunately, there's never one around.

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• You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

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• If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

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