Neil Simon

I LOVE living, I have some problems with my LIFE, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far.

Read quote

I LOVE living, I have some problems with my LIFE, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far.

Read quote

Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.

Read quote

You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy.

Read quote

People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic fix your brand new Mercedes?

Read quote

There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventy-eight in Los Angeles.

Read quote

Money brings some happiness but after a certain point it just brings more money.

Read quote

Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count.

Read quote

If no one ever took risks, Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.

Read quote

Quotes by Neil Simon