Sarah Silverman

Comedian

1970-12-01

American comedian, actress, and writer known for provocative stand-up comedy and satirical performances. She created and starred in The Sarah Silverman Program and has released multiple acclaimed stand-up specials.

Quotes by Sarah Silverman

Nothing seems crazy when you're used to it.
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My stepfather, John O'Hara, was the goodest man there was. He was not a man of many words, but of carefully chosen ones. He was the one parent who didn't try to fix me. One night I sat on his lap in his chair by the woodstove, sobbing. He just held me quietly and then asked only, What does it feel like? It was the first time I was prompted to articulate it. I thought about it, then said, I feel homesick. That still feels like the most accurate description - I felt homesick, but I was home.
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Mother Teresa didn't walk around complaining about her thighs -- she had shit to do.
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Nothing seems crazy when you're used to it.
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Mother Teresa didn't walk around complaining about her thighs -- she had shit to do.
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My stepfather, John O'Hara, was the goodest man there was. He was not a man of many words, but of carefully chosen ones. He was the one parent who didn't try to fix me. One night I sat on his lap in his chair by the woodstove, sobbing. He just held me quietly and then asked only, What does it feel like? It was the first time I was prompted to articulate it. I thought about it, then said, I feel homesick. That still feels like the most accurate description - I felt homesick, but I was home.
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I like my life alone.
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Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me.
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And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major to arts and sciences, and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit school he'd pay my rent for the next three years, as if I were in school.
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Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine.
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I like my messiness on stage, though I watch comics who come at a joke from every angle and I think, 'Yeah! That's how it's done!' But for me it's the audience. If I feel connected to them, I have so much fun, and if not, it stinks.
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I was always the class clown; I made my family laugh, and that was when I was always happiest. I grew up listening to stand-up comedians' albums and watching them on TV, on 'The Tonight Show' and Letterman.
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I tend to be more arrogant on stage. Far more ignorant. I sometimes say what I think and sometimes say the opposite of what I think and the lines get blurred, but I can only hope that some kind of absolute power transcends.
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They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.
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If my Catholic boyfriend and I ever have a kid, we'll just be honest with it. We'll say that Mommy is one of God's chosen people, and Daddy believes that Jesus is magic!
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I don't care if you think I'm racist. I just want you to think I'm thin.
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