Sebastian Maniscalco

One of my biggest pet peeves is when a guy's wearing flip-flop sandals, which I don't understand. Men's feet are disgusting to begin with, but now they're on display when I try to go out for a nice steak at a restaurant, and I have to sit there and look at some guy's hoof? I don't get it. I don't understand it.

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I developed a knack for storytelling early on around the kitchen table with my family. I just happen to be a funny guy.

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Everybody seems to be wasting their time online. There is such a narcissistic attitude. It's such a strange world.

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I give a facial expression in a moment of silence for audiences to react to what I just said and kind of let that marinate with the audience for a little bit. I enjoy the physical part of the comedy as much as the verbal content. People tend to gravitate to not only what they're hearing but also what they're seeing.

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I remember when I was young, I was watching TV, and my father came into the room, agitated, and told me to start a business. I was eight years old.

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I've never seen a weirder group of people than at the post office. It looks like people are crawling out from under rocks to go to the post office.

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I go to Vegas now, and I'm in the casino, and I'm gambling, and there's a guy in a wet bathing suit gambling right next to me.

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I started working full time as a comedian in 2005, shortly after we did the Vince Vaughn 'Wild West Comedy Show.' I worked at the Four Seasons hotel from 1998 to 2005, so about seven years, just trying to put some food on the table and pay the rent while I went out to the open mics and got my feet wet with stand-up comedy.

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People come to a show, then they go back to their neighborhood, and it has become like word-of-mouth. Everybody loves to turn somebody on to something. It kind of just snowballed.

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Quotes by Sebastian Maniscalco