Simone Elkeles

Author

1970-04-24

Quotes by Simone Elkeles

• But wishes are only granted in fairy tales.

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• He's my brother, my blood. He annoys the hell out of me most of the time, but when it comes right down to it I want to see him graduate from college and have little annoying mini-Alexes and mini-Brittanys running around in the future

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• Nice girl. Wears too much makeup.Most chicks hate her.Most chicks wish they looked like her. And they wish they had her money and boyfriend.I stop and regard her in disgust. Burro Face?Oh, please, Alex. Colin Adams is cute, he's the captain of the football team and Fairfield's hero. You're like Danny Zuko in Grease. You smoke, you're in a gang, and you've dated the hottest bad girls around. Brittany is like Sandy ... a Sandy who'll never show up to school in a black leather jacket with a ciggie hangin' from her mouth. Give up the fantasy.

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• Girls like you want to cut guy's nuts off and hang 'em from your rearview mirror.

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• Please, amigo. We need you, Kimosabe, O Mighty Powerful One. We need you more than the earth rises in the west.The sun rises in the east, dickhead.Only if you're standing on the earth. If you're on the moon, the earth rises in the west.

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• Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Hope your surgery went well!

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• This is a team of gay dudes, isn't it?What gave it away? The pink shirts, or half our team drooling over you?

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• Consider me your candy stripper... I mean striper.

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• Dios mio, I think my brother lost his balls somewhere between here and Mexico. Or maybe Brittany has them zipped inside that fancy purse (of hers).

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• Next time I want to do something nice, slap me.

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• Can I request another peer guide, One who isn't so happy to be at school at 7:30 a.m.?

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• If my name was Richard, I'd go by Richard or Rich...not Dick. Hell I'd even settle for being called Chard.

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• You're not the only one in this relationship who loves achallenge,— he says. —And just so you know for the future, I like my double-chocolate chipcookies warm and soft in the middle . . . and without magnets glued to them.

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• you think you've never been wrong before?-alexsure i have why just last week I bought bobbi brown sandwash petal lip gloss when the pink blossom color would have looked so much better with my complexion. needless to say the purchase was a total disaster- brittneyill bet-alex.havent you ever been wrong before?-brittany absolutely. last week, when i robbed that bank over by the walgreens, I told the teller to hand over all the fifties he had in the till. what i really should have asked for was the twenties 'cause there were way more twenties than fifties- alexwhat a disaster- brittany

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• And while my mind is telling me I'm flirting with her just to prove a point, my body wants to play you show me your perky privates and I'll show you mine.

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• He laughs. Put some clothes on so you don't scare poor Kiara with your morning hard-on.I look down at my shorts. Sure enough, I've got la tengo dura in front of Kiara and Tuck. Shit. I reach out for the first thing I can grab and put it in front of me to shield myself from view. It happens to be one of Kiara's stuffed animals, but I don't have much choice right now.That's Kiara's Mojo, Tuck says, laughing. Get it? Mojo?

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• And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours.

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• Normal? I'm not normal enough for you? Carlos says. You want this guy instead? Did you notice his hair doesn't move? That's not normal. You want to date him again, go ahead. Hell, if you want to marry him and be Kiara Barra the rest of your life, be my guest.That's not want I--I don't want to hear it. Hasta, Carlos says, ignoring me and walking away.I feel my face heat in embarrassment as I look at Michael. Sorry. Carlos can he abrasive sometimes.Don't apologize. The guy obviously has major issues and, for the record, my hair moves... when I want it to.

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• When they're together, the world could fall apart around them and they'd never notice or care as long as they have each

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• the scary part is that people don't realize how much they've changed .

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