Stephen Wright

Quotes by Stephen Wright

• A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, How to Build a Boat.

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• A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, How to Build a Boat.

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• I hate when my foot falls asleep during the day because I know its going to be up all night.

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• Broke a mirror in my house and I'm supposed to get seven years bad luck but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

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• One night I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

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• I have a seashell collection; maybe you've seen it? I keep it on beaches all over the world.

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• It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it.

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• If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

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• You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

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• I have a microwave fireplace. You can lay down in front of the fire all night in eight minutes.

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• Women, can't live with them, can't shoot them.

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