Challenge, and not desire, lies at the heart of seduction.

She was just a passing fiancee.

Committing is hard for men. I can't even commit to one TV program. I get this nervous feeling that there's something better on the other channel.

When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg, so when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

I just broke up with my girlfriend, because I caught her lying. Under another man.

I don't think of myself as single. I'm romantically challenged.

I had a blind date. I waited two hours on the corner. A girl walked by, and I said, 'Are you Louise?' She said, 'Are you Rodney?' I said, 'Yeah.' She said, 'I'm not Louise.'

When a man says he wants to meet a girl with a sense of humor, he means one who will laugh at everything he says while her breasts jiggle.

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

Faint heart ne'er won fair frog.

Dating is like a box of chocolates, sometimes you get something weird.

Last night I met a guy, and I was wondering, 'What would our kids look like, where would we live? Would he get along with my mother?' And then he asked, 'Can I take your order?'

My computer dating bureau came up with a perfect gentleman. Still, I've got another three goes.

How do you know if a guy is really into you? Before the first time you go over to his apartment, he cleans his bathroom.

I hate first dates. I made the mistake of telling a date a lie about myself and she caught me. I didn't think she'd actually demand to see the Bat Cave.

On a first date, usually guys take you to a movie where you sit in the dark staring at a screen, not speaking to each other. Makes perfect sense, it prepares you for marriage.

If you think there are no new frontiers, watch a boy ring the front doorbell on his first date.

It's relaxing to go out with my ex-wife because she already knows I'm an idiot.

I once had a man break up with me. He said I was using him because right after making love I would weigh myself.

I went out with one girl who said, 'Don't treat me like a date, treat me like you would your mom.' So I didn't call her for six months.