Never stop seeking, even when it seems there is no hope

Never hide things from hardcore thinkers. They get more aggravated, more provoked by confusion than the most painful truths.

Never settle with words what you can accomplish with a flame-thrower.

Never do anything to a clitoris with your teeth that you wouldn't do to an expensive waterproof wristwatch.

Never say anything on the phone that you wouldn't want your mother to hear at your trial.

Never drink black coffee at lunch; it will keep you awake all afternoon.

Never date a man who has a freshly used fly swatter as his only living-room decoration.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Never get a mime talking. He won't stop.

Never say something remarkable. It is sure to be wrong.

Never turn your back on fear. It should always be in front of you, like a thing that might have to be killed.

Never throw a punch at a redwood.

I never said most of the things I said.

If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good.

Never give in! Never, never, never, never! Except to convictions of honor or good sense!

Never play cards with a man named Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman who's got more troubles than you.

Never trust a woman whose father calls her 'Princess'. Chances are she believes it.

Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.

Never underestimate the hypocrisy of politicians.

If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done.