When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.

Wise are they who have learned these truths: Trouble is temporary. Time is tonic. Tribulation is a test tube.

Every couple needs glue to stay together. Like all marriages, I suspect, if you're busy you don't see it coming until you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. It's a bit like going broke. It happens slowly and then very quickly.

I spend a lot of time in L.A., and I think it would probably be easier if I lived there work wise, but there's no city like London, there is so much going on. I can jump on the Tube and be anywhere in 20 minutes, and all my friends and family are here and I'm not prepared to give that up.

In London, I take the Tube everywhere.

I would not want to live with a tube in my neck and not be able to move a finger. I wouldn't - that to me is not life.

Personally I'm hoping to spend the last years of my life plugged into a real life MMORPG simulation that makes me think and feel like I'm 18 again while my 90 year old body lies in a tube somewhere getting fed thru an IV. Be a great way to finish up a life.

I know people are pretty well embarrassed just at the mention of colon cancer. Sticking a tube in you to find out what's wrong is not a nice thing. But I can tell them, a 30- or 40-minute test is worth it. We have to make them feel more comfortable about getting screened.

But with comics you're reading and assimilating an image simultaneously, instead of just reading or watching the tube.

Edible substances evoke the secretion of thick, concentrated saliva. Why? The answer, obviously, is that this enables the mass of food to pass smoothly through the tube leading from the mouth into the stomach.

I'm not very good at relaxing. Reading's the main thing. On the bus, on the tube, on the loo. Literally all the time. I mean, I don't think there's a moment of the day when I wouldn't be if I was left alone.

The difference between writing a book and being on television is the difference between conceiving a child and having a baby made in a test tube.

I love the Duo strip-lash eyelash glue. For all my ladies who love a pair of falsies, if you're using the glue in a tube, you're so 2000.

If art means as much to you as it does to me, or even if you're just exploring the art world for the first time, I invite you to turn off the boob tube, pry the Wii controllers from your kids' hands, and drag them to a museum.

I've always had self-belief, though my sensitive side has never been fully appreciated. For every 'Down in the Tube Station at Midnight,' I've written an 'English Rose.' People forget.

Teaching is a very effective way to get children to learn something specific - this tube squeaks, say, or a squish then a press then a pull causes the music to play. But it also makes children less likely to discover unexpected information and to draw unexpected conclusions.

When I'm not working, you'll find me down the play park or on the Tube with my Converse on and a muslin cloth in my hand, wiping my boy's snotty nose.

The problem with most digital comics is that you're simply taking print material and adapting it. It's like reading through a cardboard tube.

Climbing K2 or floating the Grand Canyon in an inner tube; there are some things one would rather have done than do.

The average person has one Fallopian tube.