Joan Rivers
Comedian
1933-06-08 – 2014-09-04
American comedian, writer, and television host known for pioneering women in late-night TV. She hosted The Late Show Starring Joan Rivers and was widely recognized for her stand-up and red carpet commentary.
Quotes by Joan Rivers
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I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't makeit through one door, I'll go through another door -- or I'llmake a door. Something terrific will come no matter how darkthe present.
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People say it is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money you can have a key made.
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It gathers emotionally inside you, in a strange way a by-product of struggle, of a willingness to do anything, try anything, expose yourself to anything — staying in motion because sooner or later those ripples will cause change.
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I had a blind date with a dentist — and he told me to come back in six months.
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The act of creation fascinates me. You can only sit with blank page and wait. You cannot press a button, cannot program it.
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Liked was the kiss of death. Loved or hated interested him. At least the performer had aroused emotion.
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When you begin to losing your audience, do not get loud; get quiet, make them find you and come back to you.
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Laughing made me feel safe. I was not going to be enveloped by the seediness that coated this world like dust.
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Somehow, some way, every person in the arts has to find an accommodation with disappointment and embarrassment. They are the pollen in the air we breathe.
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Maybe that is why in my comedy I try and puncture the hypocrisy all around us, why it is almost a crusade with me to strip life down to what really is true.
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I said, Is there! I told him there is a Mafia school where they teach them math — if Johnny has ten fingers and they cut off two, how many does he have left?
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Maybe that is why in my comedy I try and puncture the hypocrisy all around us, why it is almost a crusade with me to strip life down to what really is true.
Read quote -
I had a blind date with a dentist — and he told me to come back in six months.
Read quote -
It gathers emotionally inside you, in a strange way a by-product of struggle, of a willingness to do anything, try anything, expose yourself to anything — staying in motion because sooner or later those ripples will cause change.
Read quote -
Laughing made me feel safe. I was not going to be enveloped by the seediness that coated this world like dust.
Read quote -
Somehow, some way, every person in the arts has to find an accommodation with disappointment and embarrassment. They are the pollen in the air we breathe.
Read quote -
Liked was the kiss of death. Loved or hated interested him. At least the performer had aroused emotion.
Read quote -
I said, Is there! I told him there is a Mafia school where they teach them math — if Johnny has ten fingers and they cut off two, how many does he have left?
Read quote -
I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't makeit through one door, I'll go through another door -- or I'llmake a door. Something terrific will come no matter how darkthe present.
Read quote -
People say it is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money you can have a key made.
Read quote