Just be considerate, accept each other for what you are, and don't point out the fact that the hair he's losing on his head is now growing out of his nose - and his ears.

A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by a woman. A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from the beer commercials. And then, there's my personal favorite, the male ego.

If a man's a good kisser, he's a great f-.

Men are such idiots and I married their king.

There she was: dejected, desperate, and stoned. Everything I could have hoped for in a woman.

If anything happens to me tell every woman I've ever gone out with I was talking about her at the end. That way they'll have to reevaluate me.

When men talk about defense, they always claim to be protecting women and children, but they never ask the women and children what they think.

Probably the only place where a man can feel really secure is in a maximum security prison, except for the imminent threat of release.

If it wasn't for women, men would still be hanging from trees.

Some men are more perfect than others.

Men have hidden agendas. For instance, every time a man holds the door open for me, I think he's just doing it to check out my ass. Or at least I hope he is.

There are men too gentle to live among wolves.

Until men can become pregnant, we will not have effective birth control.

Men have always been afraid that women could get along without them.

A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.

To define a man: he must be a creature who makes me feel that I am a woman.

As long as you know that most men are like children, you know everything.

Men, unlike mockingbirds, have the capacity for systematic self-delusion. We echo each other with equal precision, equal eloquence, equal assurance.

The bravest thing that men do is love women.

Jewish men don't know anything.