Windmill or no windmill, he said, life would go on as it had always gone on--that is, badly.

Mysteries force a man to think, and so injure his health.

Welcome to Hell. Here's your accordion.

Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.

Which of us is happy in this world? Which of us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied?

Actors are so fortunate. They can choose whether they will appear in tragedy or in comedy, whether they will suffer or make merry, laugh or shed tears. But in real life it is different. Most men and women are forced to perform parts for which they have no qualifications. Our Guildensterns play Hamlet for us, and our Hamlets have to jest like Prince Hal. The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.

A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?

I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me.

Invisible things are the only realities.

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

The universe is a million billion light-years wide, and every inch of it would kill you if you went there. This is the position of the universe with regards to human life.

This work was strictly voluntary, but any animal who absented himself from it would have his rations reduced by half.

If satire is to be effective, the audience must be aware of the thing satirized.

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own.

Satire's my weapon, but I'm too discreet To run amuck, and tilt at all I meet.

Satire should, like a polished razor keen, Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen.

Satirists gain the applause of others through fear, not through love.

By rights, satire is a lonely and introspective occupation, for nobody can describe a fool to the life without much patient self-inspection.

Satire is not a social dynamite. But it is a social indicator: it shows that new men are knocking at the door.

One man's pointlessness is another's barbed satire.