Peanut prizes inspire monkey contestants.

This medal (the National Book Award) together with my American Express card, will identify me worldwide ... except at Bloomingdale's.

God will not look you over for medals, degrees, or diplomas, but for scars.

I once had a sparrow alight upon my shoulder for a moment, while I was hoeing in a village garden, and I felt that I was more distinguished by that circumstance than I should have been by any epaulet I could have worn.

To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say, 'Well done.' And to the 'C' students, I say, 'You, too, can be President of the United States.'

I turned down a knighthood. It would be like having to wear a suit every day of your life.

What I like about the Order of the Garter is that there is no damned merit about it.

People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic fix your brand new Mercedes?

I was once asked if I wanted to be Pipe Smoker of the Year. I had to tell them I didn't smoke a pipe. They said, 'Oh, that doesn't matter.'

The cross of the Legion of Honor has been conferred upon me. However, few escape that distinction.